Why I Blog

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Mine is not a story with a “high bottom”

Mine is not a story that engenders sympathy

Mine is not a story that you would wish upon a loved one

Mine was a story of guilt

Guilt for drinking, blacking out, hurting, lying, deceiving

Guilt for letting loved ones down

for taking advantage of people

for damaging relationships faster than I could repair them

Mine was a story of selfishness, of ego, of blindness and uncaring

I drank to live

I drank to hide from fear

I drank to find love

Mine was a story of shame

Shame that disallowed me from looking in the mirror

Shame that had me feeling lesser than

feeling broken

Shame that taught me to hate myself

Mine was a story of fear

Fear that gripped me with self-limiting beliefs

that had me reminding myself daily of how little I was capable of

that had me never trying something new

that never let me grow

that always gave me nightmares

that never let me dream

Mine is now a story  of courage

to seek out challenges

to look within myself and to heal myself

Mine is now a story of strength

to be vulnerable and transparent

to ask for help

to be honest with myself

Mine is now a story of growth

through self-discovery

through freely giving of myself

through listening, learning and living

Mine is now a story of opportunity

of pride, of progress, of failure

but failing forward

always forward

I will never stop failing

but it will never

disallow me,

it will never stop me from

 moving forward

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7 thoughts on “Why I Blog

  1. Nice one Glenn – I could identify with a lot of what you said there, in such short but powerful words. Our stories are very much unique and different and at the same time, they are very much the same. Regardless of how far the scale we slide, we come to our illness in the same way. We manifest the illness in similar fashions. We tend to have similar thoughts and fears and resentments. Some of us see it sooner than others, or deal with it differently or get to a place of resolution and/or peace in different times. If at all. And we all come to our ways and methods with dealing with this stuff.

    Self discovery is a great way of putting it, and that is what we do. Excessive navel gazing doesn’t need to be done, but we are aware and cognizent of our thoughts and emotions. We come to our new lives with a new set of glasses – whole perspective shift. it’s fantastic!

    Anyway, thank you for sharing this – wonderful.

    Blessings,
    Paul

  2. Thank you Paul.

    This wasn’t my best effort, to say the least, and I haven’t felt super thrilled about what I have put out the past couple of posts so your feedback is genuinely welcome and your affirmation is appreciated.

    Just gotta keep trying.

    Thank you again kind Sir!

  3. This was really inspiring, Glenn. I couldn’t help but to think about my days when binge-drinking alienated me from my progression and potential in life. Especially when you wrote, “I drank to live, I drank to hide from fear, I drank to love.” I pretty much lived a decade of my life like this and the sad thing is, the whole time, I had one of the greatest loves life could have bestowed upon me…and my drinking destroyed it. Because my mind and my heart were not my own at the time. They were both controlled by that demonic entity we all know as alcohol.
    I loved how you turned your ode around and make it reflective of your life now. I’m going on two years of sobriety now and like yourself, I’ve learned that the only way to live is through growth and self-discovery.
    Thank you for sharing this. It really made my morning cup of Joe more enjoyable=)

    1. Thank you, Gina, for responding and sharing a bit of your story as well. I understand what it is like to know loss due to the abuse of alcohol. With massive gratitude I review, daily, where I am at and how far from a life filled with wreckage I have come. It is forever uplifting to be reaffirmed by someone else, such as yourself, who understands, relates and shares what it is like to know the abuse of alcohol.
      Thank you for stopping in and please be aware that I wish for you health, happiness and continued sobriety.

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